Re/Treat

Is different than resistance

There’s a drift in the creative community
Of assuming the reason
You are not moving forward on a project
On maybe your whole career
Is resistance.

And resistance is real!
I even resisted reading “The War of Art”
Because who wants to read a whole book about resistance?!

But here’s the thing!
It’s so key.
And may be the thing
That helps you understand why you aren’t
Moving forward!

I saw a video of a peony blooming today.
Here’s the link to my Insta.
It’s in my stories right now.

My first thought was
It’s like a flower waving hello!
And I mean it would be enough.
If that’s all it was.

I watched it again.
And again.
Was I resisting the annoying to do list?
Duh.
But was I actually mesmerized?
I was.

And after the third
Maybe fifth time through
(after all there was that list to resist)
I realized part of what was happening
Part of what made this flower video
So completely compelling
Was the retreat.
Of individual petals.

Even though the flower kept blooming
Each individual petal did not move
Irrevocably forward!
Or outward - to be more specific.

Out and then in.
Forward and then back.
That’s what made it feel like
It was waving
Like a hand.
Oh hi!
Like the watery waves
Crashing in on the sand
And then heading back out to sea.

I watched some more.
The flower continued to bloom.
As a whole.

But each piece of the flower
Each petal
Moved forward and pulled back.
Breathed in
And breathed out.
As the flower flowed on
In a general trend of blooming.

What does this mean for your work?

Sometimes you are not resisting.
Sometimes you step back to assess.
You take a break between drafts.
You put things in the drawer.
Becuase you have a question.
You sleep on things.
Sometimes for years.
(Great story in The Ankler today about
Cormac McCarthy doing just that).
Sometimes you are building the muscles
You are going to need to execute the next piece.
Sometimes life.
Life is real.
And what you are making work about.
So.
Sometimes you are catching up with yourself.
Backing away doesn’t always mean
You are resisting.
It can.
But it doesn’t always.

Especially if you look at the whole
Of your work
As the flower.
And each piece of your work
As a petal.
Are you blooming in general?
If not - probably resistance.

If you are blooming in general
Maybe you are backing up specifically
To get perspective
Momentum
Clarity.

And the thing is
They may look the same
From the outside.
Because most people
Will not take the time
To perceive your wholeness.
Some people will.
A great agent or manager.
Your collaborators.
A lover.
Maybe.
A creativity coach.
(If you need one, we might be a good fit
And you can set up a call to explore that here.)

But whether you answer alone
Ot with help
The question is the same.
Are you resisting
Or are you re/treating?

Re-treating after all
Treating yourself well.
Again.
And again.
As you must.
If you are going to bloom
For a whole career.

As I like to re/mind myself
Create come from a word meaning to grow.
Not a word meaning to make.

And growth
Blooming
Becoming
It’s a dance.
A wave.
A spiral.
An explosion.
It’s many things.
And sometimes it moves
In what looks like retreat.

Moving backwards is challenging.
That’s why they put cameras in cars to help you.
Do that for yourself.
Give yourself tools
To back away - dance - with grace.
And be gentle with yourself.
And tough too.
Like a flower petal.

xx B