Stuck In The Middle...

And how to get out

Client: I start off so strong. And then it just fizzles.
Me: What happens? Specifically.
Client: I have all this energy. And it’s going great and then I… start to have doubts? Get afraid. Perfectionism kicks in.

It was a group coaching session, half a dozen accomplished writers. A lot of nodding heads on the zoom.

Because we’ve all been there.

Here are some solutions to work through the middle muddle.

1. Know your end.
   Know where you are writing towards. It keeps you from feeling like you are wandering. And gives you a sense of moving towards a destination with purpose. Sometimes the end doesn’t reveal itself immediately. You sometimes need to write the beginning before you understand the end.

   
   But if you can be clear about the end and you take the time to do it, the rest will be easier. Once you enter that address into your map app - you know you can make some different choices, but you will always end up at your destination.

2. Skip the middle.
   Maybe you wrote a beginning without understanding the middle or the end. Now you are stuck - try skipping the middle. especially in short form, and write the end. Then see what’s missing. Maybe not much.

3. Take a guess.
   Sometimes when we don’t ‘know’ something we can circumvent the doubt by asking ourselves, what if I did know? When I ask clients this question, a surprisingly, or maybe unsurprisingly - high percentage of the time they have so much more insight then they were conscious of having.

4. Give yourself permission to write a bad middle.
   Middles are tricky. Think about the difference of the road on either side of the bridge - and the bridge. The bridge requires so much expert engineering. The middle is kind of treacherous. So be generous with yourself. You can make it better later. The middle is a great place to remember a first draft is something to put a coffee ring on.

5. Start doing a little outlining in advance.
   Knowing your structure before you begin gives you support for proceeding. this doesn’t have to be elaborate.

6. Get brave.
   If I had to choose on of these as the main piece of advice it’s this one. Be braver. More courage. Even all the above suggestions could be boiled down into this. It takes courage to start outlining. Courage to ask yourself what you might be pretending you don’t know.
   
   I started strength training this year. And there is something that happens - especially in lat pull downs for me - where I really feel it in my heart. And it’s super uncomfortable to feel that much in my heart. I’m not talking about an increased heart rate, just a feeling.
   
   And my trainer has been patiently telling me to try to stick with it, through the feeling. Through the fear that it’s ‘too much’. To stick with it even one more second. Not to worry about reps, about doing ‘one more’. Just stick with it for one second, and then another. Feel the feelings. Be brave enough to feel the uncomfortable feelings. One more second. I have been and it;s extremely exhilarating. And has had so many benefits outside of the work outs.
   
   So I tell you. All those feelings when you are stuck in the middle - with yourself. Get brave enough to write one more word, phrase, sentence, paragraph. Without knowing. To get into the mess that your premise lead you to. The vulnerable heart of the middle.

Infinitely Yours,
Beth