The Great Thing About Jealousy

Really

A client was talking to me about jealousy.
In this case someone was jealous of him.
Quality problem right?
But jealousy comes up persistently with students and clients.
Let’s face it
We live in a world of awards, and best seller lists
And social media metrics.

But jealousy can be super helpful.
Because there is so much out there.
A whole world of wantables.
And we don’t get jealous of it all.
If we did
We’d have jealousy exhaustion
At the level of our decision exhaustion.

What we do get jealous of
Is what we really want.
And so jealousy is a kind of lantern.
Lighting the way to our true heart’s desire.
You can thank jealousy.
Great work.
And then
Let it go.

Will it return?
Maybe.
Especially if we don’t understand
What it is about the thing
That we’re jealous of.
Is it the work, the pay, the clarity, the acclaim?
The process, the wardrobe, the craft?
The audience, the partners, the producer?
The genius, the luck, the spiritual wisdom?
The hair?!
Being specific can help you decide
Is it something
You want to try to achieve?

Once you understand that
You can make a plan.
Is it something you have to get into acceptance about?
Like being a different height, or age, or not having perfect pitch?
Then let it go and find a work around.
You know like those charts that are
Eat this instead of that
.
But sometimes
It is attainable.
If you do your part.

So here’s the work.
First feel the feeling
Without beating yourself up about it.
We do beat ourselves up over jealousy.
Maybe because envy is one of the 7 deadly sins.
But - correct me if I’m wrong
I’m pretty sure it always specifically says envy.
And envy and jealousy are related
But not exactly the same.
And almost no oe ever comes to me
And says I’m so envious.
It’s almost always specifically jealous.

Ans the word jealous is related to zealous.
Don’t you feel better about it already?
It comes from a word meaning
To seek, request, desire.
What’s wrong with any of that/
Also in Middle English sometimes it meant
Fond, amorous, ardent.
When you feel that feeling of jealousy
With all those words in mind
It does actually feel - well - different.
Almost maybe good?

Envy on the other hand
Comes from a word invidere
To envy, hate.
And before that look at -with malice.
Cast an evil eye upon.
From a word meaning to see.

And that envious feeling
Is like a poison.
Casting an evil eye
And hating
Are the vile bile
We usually associate with
Turning green with envy.
Is not the same as zealous desire.
Never going to get your closer to your goal.

So.
After you analyze.
And get grateful.
Separate out what you need to accept.
From what you can change.
And then make a plan.
Sure it will require focus
And hard work.
But also.

Look at the joy.
Meaning look at
Your heart’s true desire.
All the way through.
From targeting through analyzing then planning.

Desire is tricky.
Because we live in a world
Of artificial wanting.
And so - if you are a person of conscious
And consciousness
You very well may decide
To simply
Want what you have.
It’s a beautiful stance.
Unless it’s a false stance
Unless there are ‘things’ you truly desire.
A way to be authentically creative
And engaged profitably with the world
In that work.
It’s not greedy
To desire to live that.
But it’s also entitled to think
You don’t have to work for it.

So.
Understanding your heart’s true desire.
And working to achieve it.
That’s the goal.
And that’s where jealousy
Can help you see where you are headed.
So you don’t spend the next however many years
Making wrong effort..

That’s the surprisingly great thing
About jealousy,

And a program note…
I’m doing my yearly
Pick Your Next Project
Which will help you make the critical decision.
Of what to work on.
Lots of tools besides tracking your jealousy.
And participant spotlights.
I do have super powers helping creatives decide.

We’ll be on Zoom.
Saturday Oct 19.
12-3 PT.
Register now!

Infinity yours,

Beth